Friday, April 30, 2004

Take Cover

cover my eyes before i fucking DIE of depression!!!

Thursday, April 29, 2004

The Little Black Book

maybe i should cut down on my blogs and note some of the stuff down in black and white instead.
did it the last time only to give the book away.
i didn't regret it.

why is everyone saying that i look very sad?
do i really look that way?
i guess i do.
but how can i hide it when things are really kinda bad.
i'm really not happy here.

can someone really change for the better?
or do they just change to make themselves more acceptable to the majority?
it's all about the majority...

sometimes i wish things are simply black and white.
but the world is just one big grey.

Monday, April 26, 2004

The Longest Race Ever

just ran the hardest race of my life. ever.
its only 800m. but at the end it seems like i ran so much longer.
i swear i saw a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Move Forward

next saturday may be an interesting day.

well...at least i'll have something to look forward to.
life carries on week by week...

Wednesday, April 21, 2004

The Practice

went for my first basketball practice today and the rest of the guys were all kick ass good.
no wonder my unit is the defending champion...i must be like the lousiest guy there. or maybe my self esteem is trying to get funky with me.

sgt poon went to SPT for a meeting in the morning. kinda wish i could go back to visit SPT when i have the chance.
miss the place...
you will never appreciate what you have until you lose it. kinda regret that our petty quarrels there took up so much of our time. i told eugene so...a couple of years down the road and you will realise how silly and insignificant our differences are. only that it didn't take me a couple of years but a couple of months instead.

SPT: School of Physical Training aka heaven

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

The Back Incident

a slap on the back could be more than just a sign of encouragement.

respect man.

Sunday, April 11, 2004

The Beginning Is The End Is The Beginning.

the end of the script.
marks a new death bed redemption.
the conclusion of nothing.
sparks the start of realisation.

a little too late?
or is it really better to be late than never?
somethings shouldn't be kept late.
others, just never, ever.

it's always easier said than done.
accept the past as past, without denying or discarding it.
somehow, abit of me still clings onto the past.

maybe it will always be a part of me.
which i can never deny or discard.
how can something so insignificant mean something to me?

everytime i type, everything just falls into place.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

Point By Point

went to camp with a slightly clearer mind today. maybe cause chief won't be around today. or is it because i will only be around until lunch time? my name is still not submitted to the guard room. so i can't draw the keys again. it's been a week...damn...gonna inform chief tml. surprisingly, everyone was on time today.
we really surprised ourselves.

went to watch this safety video about applying first aid for burns. boring stuff...

walked back to the office. bought 2nd breakfast from the canteen.

packed some stuff. did some weights.

sgt poon let me off earlier. but on the way to the gate i saw major doris walking in my direction. ran back to the office to seek shelter. walked to the gate again 10 mins later. took a bus to jurong point but i fell asleep on the bus. luckily this nice passenger woke me up.
boarded the train and there's this drunk guy onboard. irritant...

got home. bought lunch. guess i will be eating outside food for the rest of the week. hope mom and dad is having a good time.
hope mom doesn't buy me any souvenirs.

played game and slack around and before i know it it's time for dinner. how time flies when you are having "fun". went down to BK.

hoped she was free. but she wasn't. she is never free. maybe it only applies to me. maybe that's why i'm still hoping. after awhile, you just get tired of your invitations being rejected all the time and you'll just stop trying. i can sense such a situation coming up real soon.
welcome to the real world where everything that can go wrong will go wrong.

so here i am right now...sitting in front of the desktop d/ling some mp3s. can't believe i'm actually d/ling "angels brought me here" by guy sebastian...
all thanx to val...

tml should be a quick day...going to SP for waterpolo training in the evening. interesting...

Thursday, April 01, 2004

Stupidity Shouldn't Be Painless...

i'm being stupified everyday, i'm starting to feel kinda dumb already...damn i'm screwed...

sometimes i just sit back and laugh quietly. nothing is more entertaining than to observe someone who pretends to be an intellectual.

his fear of the higher ranks, and that ego-boosting smile he have on his face everytime he finds someone mediocre enough to step on and spit on, is starting to make me nauseas and sick in the stomach.